life is SO much more. so much more beautiful, more perfect, more exactly the way you imagined in your childhood fairy tale dreams.



musical project is getting alot of notice/buzz. now is my time. no more shit. no more liars. no more jobless, needy, self righteous assholes.


we have each other. our cabin in the woods is a door to a world that we both never thought possible.
keep a knob on the radio, we're coming. :)

some people are just complete fuckers. i seriously cant get over the complete assholeness of some people. oh well, once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit. SO unbelievable glad you are gone.

fall. fall. FALL! so xcited. thanks babetron

you are more perfect than you will ever know.

met el's extended family a few weeks back. i guess now his mom wants to meet me more than ever. i dont know what to do. I mean, I dont introduce boys to my parents unless its reaaaaallll serious. and I dont think ill spring that on El until christmas time. but why am i so wierd about my family? maybe because i feel that if you dont get the approval of your beloved's loved ones, you're fucked. or maybe its because at my age, i dont even want to involve my family in someone im in a relationship with unless its been 5 months minimum. Because to me, my family is the final frontier. Or, maybe it is bcause this is the first relationship that i can see going somewhere. at least somewhere beyond the normal, carnal bullshit that people pretend substitutes for a relationship. This is honestly the first time that I have experiences REAL love. everything else was bullshit constructed for someone else's needs. its you, El. through everything, it's you.

everything. to the boy who i loved who will read this, im sorry for everything. we were so wrong for each other. but. i found the boy who is right. im so so soooooo sorry my dear. and you know who you are. im glad you are happy and that i found the man who makes me completely happy as well.









thank you for all you made me realize. thank you for really loving me for a brief period. nothing but love and joy to you and your girlfriend. you made me realize i was beautiful. and for that i am forever grateful. love you joey! thanks for helping me meet the perfect person! good luck and massive love in all you do!

come live with me.
one more summer.
i am serious.

you know who you are.

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better shots to come.
definitely one of the best experiences of my life.
5 hours have never gone so fast.
my body has finally become a canvas of my life stories.

close this up.

Yeah Yeah Yeah by Roddy Lumsden

No matter what you did to her, she said,
There's times, she said, she misses you, your face
Will pucker in her dream, and times the bed's
Too big. Stray hairs will surface in a place
You used to leave your shoes, A certain phrase,
Some old song on the radio, a joke
You had to be there for, she said, some days
It really gets to her; the way you smoked
Or held a cup, or her, and how you woke
Up crying in the night sometimes, the way
She'd stroke and hush you back, and how you broke
Her still. All this she told me yesterday,
Then she rolled over, laughed, began to do
To me what she so rarely did with you.

So I'll cross my heart
And hope to die
Before I have a chance to lie
To you my dear
Who I wish no harm
But I know in the end this will turn out wrong
See I've been known to fall in love
But sometimes love just is not enough